..... On a more serious note. When are we likely to know who the winner is?
The answer, unfortunately, is 'It depends'.
Different states have different laws - some allow mailed ballots to count as long as they have a Nov. 3rd post mark. Others reject everything received after Election Day.
Some states have been furiously counting all the ballots as they come in, others have rules that won't allow them to start counting until the polls close.
My understanding is that North Carolina & Florida are going to be pretty quick - and if Biden wins either of those, Trump is toast (polls are very tight in both states). We'd then likely know the winner by Wednesday.
But if Trump wins North Carolina & Florida - and he very well might - then it's probably going to come down to Pennsylvania. And given their laws, if the vote is close there it will likely take weeks to get a confirmed result. And probably will involve the courts.
There's another route to victory for Biden if he loses PA that involves him winning Arizona, and an additional district of Maine or Nebraska [the only two states that split their electoral college votes], but how long that one would take to play out, I have no idea.
And if Trump wins Michigan or Wisconsin again, which we'd likely know pretty soon, he's going to cruise it.......but that's looking like a very long shot right now