Paul Cannell
Well-known member
- Joined
- 7 Dec 2017
- Messages
- 7,396
The (currrent at time of posting) OUFC manager (Robbo) has been talking to a guy off Black Bird Lees estate, who we'll call Gobble. These are true records of the conversations.
July
Robbo "I'll tell you what, Gobble. I'm going to give you the world."
Gobble "That'll be great boss. I'm really looking forward to that."
Start of August
Robbo "I've got a new car Gobble, it's fantastic. I went to the car market and said to the dealers 'I've got all this money that's burning a hole in me pocket' and they sold me this little smasher - whiplash aerial, Wolfrace wheels, vinyl roof. Fantastic value!"
Gobble "Looks like a mark III Cortina to me, How much did you pay for it?"
Robbo "For this one with everything we need to go places: wheels, seats, engine everything? I paid what it took, Gobble lad"
End of August
Robbo "Look what I've got you, Gobble. Isn't it just brilliant."
Gobble "Bag of sand. Nice."
Robbo "I've been waiting for months for this bag. It's a beauty isn't it? Just what we need up front to make the Cortina go."
29th September
Gobble "Still getting wheel-spin and the car not going anywhere, Robbo?"
Robbo "Well it jerks sideways a bit but it's the roads, too gritty, see. And the traffic cops. I've tried everything - wheels on the ground, wheels in the air, seats in the boot. Everything"
Gobble "Have you thought of taking the bag of sand off the front and sticking it in the boot?"
Robbo "That's ridiculous. Every modern car has a bag of sand up front. No way am I changing that."
July
Robbo "I'll tell you what, Gobble. I'm going to give you the world."
Gobble "That'll be great boss. I'm really looking forward to that."
Start of August
Robbo "I've got a new car Gobble, it's fantastic. I went to the car market and said to the dealers 'I've got all this money that's burning a hole in me pocket' and they sold me this little smasher - whiplash aerial, Wolfrace wheels, vinyl roof. Fantastic value!"
Gobble "Looks like a mark III Cortina to me, How much did you pay for it?"
Robbo "For this one with everything we need to go places: wheels, seats, engine everything? I paid what it took, Gobble lad"
End of August
Robbo "Look what I've got you, Gobble. Isn't it just brilliant."
Gobble "Bag of sand. Nice."
Robbo "I've been waiting for months for this bag. It's a beauty isn't it? Just what we need up front to make the Cortina go."
29th September
Gobble "Still getting wheel-spin and the car not going anywhere, Robbo?"
Robbo "Well it jerks sideways a bit but it's the roads, too gritty, see. And the traffic cops. I've tried everything - wheels on the ground, wheels in the air, seats in the boot. Everything"
Gobble "Have you thought of taking the bag of sand off the front and sticking it in the boot?"
Robbo "That's ridiculous. Every modern car has a bag of sand up front. No way am I changing that."
