- 6 Dec 2017
You might have to rethink the water vole skin seating. According to reports this week water vole are in serious decline. Conservationists would be outraged. Otherwise your spec is faultless. Well done! One question though - isn't the perennial problem not what we build but where we build it?The Terrrrific Independence Tiger Stadium will be built to celebrate the return of sovereignty to these shores by a small man who's bought the myth. Designed by Dame Judi Dench of Kassam Correspondence College, the "Terrrrific Independence Tiger Stadium" or TITS as it will be known is the first sports stadium to be designed specifically to facilitate safe standing on 1 sides and unsafe seating on the other 3.
In keeping with ancient British building techniques the 3-storey seating levels are constructed in the form of three interlinked conches or burrows from elm poles lashed together with hide straps and innovatively uses a matrix of water vole skins lashed to willow poles to provide seating that flexes in the wind, any wind. The concourses will contain, as well as statues and dioramas from Oxford's history (such as Pum's ejection from Debenhams, Jack Midson drives the Romans into the sea, Billy Turley's performance as Mimi in Darren Patterson's xmas production of La Boheme), fashionable food (dormice from Dorset), drink (mead from Maidstone) and cosmetics (woad from Westminster) outlets that will cater to the many diverse tastes in the cosmopolitan audience drawn from all 4 corners of Oxfordshire on specially-built "Charlie Charabancs".
The 4th stand will be sponsored by the leading cosmetics outlet and called the "London Woad End". Build entirely of turf, the London Woad end is designed to provide a safe area for existing supporters, safely away from the new supporters in their barbours and red or mustard trousers. It provides ample windows for licking as well as a pre-dilapidated toilet area modelled on the Barrow away end not to mention food outlets serving things you would not quite believe.
Come on Dame Judi, get your TITS out for the lads!
Yes. Because I've been stockpiling their skins.You might have to rethink the water vole skin seating. According to reports this week water vole are in serious decline. Conservationists would be outraged.
Tiger's going to buy us the floating island of Laputa so it can be anchored in the Leys for one home match and outside Oxford Parkway in order to unit the fanbase. Three cheers for Tiger!Otherwise your spec is faultless. Well done! One question though - isn't the perennial problem not what we build but where we build it?
That’s alright then. Thanks for allaying my concerns. Didn’t realise there was a watercourse large enough to float a stadium in the Leys which connects to Oxford Parkway. I assume Thames Water have done a feasibility study and that work will commence shortly.Yes. Because I've been stockpiling their skins.
Tiger's going to buy us the floating island of Laputa so it can be anchored in the Leys for one home match and outside Oxford Parkway in order to unit the fanbase. Three cheers for Tiger!
You were doing so well until you got to the bit about the statues - I think 4 statues of Jack Midson would be more appropriate.Requirements for a new stadium:
- Yellow and blue seats
- Yellow and blue nets (box style)
- Yellow and blue pitch
- Go faster stripes on the stands
- Under pitch heating and flooding options for when we're 3-0 down and can call upon it for a postponement
- Teleporters to get to the ground quickly
- Uncle Firoz in some stocks outside the main gate
- Statues of the greats around the concourses - John Aldridge, Ray Houghton, Bobby MacDonald, Jack Midson
- A halftime 'Hunger Games' where two fans fight to the death
Yes it was deigned by the same architect team. Even the south stand is the same with the boxes etc. Would have opened around the same time if we hadn't run out of moneyHas anybody else ever noticed that if the pitch at the kassam was excavated a couple meters and all 4 stands were built with the corners filled in. We'd have something that looks almost identical to the Madjeski stadium. Was it designed by the same people or something? Even the wheelchair areas look exactly the same. Good reason as any to leave the breeze block.
The Stade Luis II is a great example of a medium sized stadium that looks really nice and unique. Could take inspiration from that bar the athletics track and apply an Oxford style exterior to it.
There was some pretty shocking goalkeeping and defending by both teams in that game. Remember the next copy of Raging Bull. Page 53 "Swindon fans, welcome to page 5-3"...How’s that Indian Sign working out for you, Lawro?
Have not seen that first goal from Joey before - what a beaut!
Tranmere away still one of my favourite away days. The M6 was just a sea of yellow and blue all the way up and back. We had an average home gate of about 5,800 that season and took over 3,000 to Prenton Park. The scenes when Durnin scored our second goal and then the excruciating wait for the Blackburn-Plymouth result to be confirmed as their kick off had been delayed by 15 minutes.Remember the game well from March ‘92.
That was our first win over “ them “ in ten years ( 5-0 at the
Manor in ‘82 being the last victory).
We were 5-3 up with half an hour to go and the last thirty minutes
felt like two hours ! Swindon were a decent team that season
with Duncan Shearer up front.
We needed points to stay up that season
and achieved safety at Tranmere on the last day.
Beauchamp was our star player that season by far. Chris
Allen broke into the team that month after Paul Simpson
was sold to Derby.