Oxford Mail articles to fill the transfer void

Why Reggie the Veggie Referee was my favourite fanzine cartoon character by Ed Horton
 
*BREAKING NEWS* - "Wycombe Wanderers" - Full time football club apparently discovered less than 30 miles from Oxford.

There are some funny fake headlines on this thread but this is one is just stupid. You don’t seem to get the general theme of the humour in the thread.
To be funny the post needs to be about something that might actually happen or a play on a real event involving players or club. Try to avoid just making up wild carp that’s just impossible.
 
There are some funny fake headlines on this thread but this is one is just stupid. You don’t seem to get the general theme of the humour in the thread.
To be funny the post needs to be about something that might actually happen or a play on a real event involving players or club. Try to avoid just making up wild carp that’s just impossible.

Never heard of surrealism?

....and anyway, it's not like I claimed they were nicknamed something utterly ludicrous like 'Chairboys' is it?
 
The dissection of the clown begins in earnest.
 
"While my Qatar gently weeps" - which OUFC players past and present are in line to be at the World Cup Finals in 4 years time, and which will miss out.....
"The Long and Winding Road" - Sam talks about his battles with injury
"Norweigian Would" - Part time Scandinavian player describes his reaction when Pep asked him to come to OUFC
"Ticket to Ride" - the truth behind that European scouting trip last summer
"Here, There and Everywhere" - Charlie Methven talks about his roles at OUFC
"With a Little Help from my Friends" - Er...Clotet talks about the scouting system he put in place
"Here Comes the Son" - Rare interview with Ramon and Emiliano Diaz
"Baby, you can drive my car" - who got the most use out of 'that' Metro
"Debuts made on Sky against Diamonds" - Kristaps Grebis and Andy Gunn recall that memorable night in 1992
"Canice Please Me" - Faz lists what the young Irishman has to do to impress him (5 part series)
 
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Never heard of surrealism?

....and anyway, it's not like I claimed they were nicknamed something utterly ludicrous like 'Chairboys' is it?

Yeah or something like that dump down the a420, swine Town have their own football team. Now that would’ve been utterly ludicrous!
 
"While my Qatar gently weeps" - which OUFC players past and present are in line to be at the World Cup Finals in 4 years time, and which will miss out.....
"The Long and Winding Road" - Sam talks about his battles with injury
"Norweigian Would" - Part time Scandinavian player describes his reaction when Pep asked him to come to OUFC
"Ticket to Ride" - the truth behind that European scouting trip last summer
"Here, There and Everywhere" - Charlie Methven talks about his roles at OUFC
"With a Little Help from my Friends" - Er...Clotet talks about the scouting system he put in place
"Here Comes the Son" - Rare interview with Ramon and Emiliano Diaz
"Baby, you can drive my car" - who got the most use out of 'that' Metro
"Debuts made on Sky against Diamonds" - Kristaps Grebis and Andy Gunn recall that memorable night in 1992
"Canice Please Me" - Faz lists what the young Irishman has to do to impress him (5 part series)
Been listening to the Beatles anthology by any chance haha

Looking forward to our next signing being unveiled.....however checking the OM Monday morning in exited anticipation I know I'll be reading the headline 'Oxford squad enjoy England March to semi final' ?
 
Best one yet!

Grass goes brown when you don’t water it and it’s been really sunny shock
 
Shock! Horror! Devil lives in Barton, doubts Oxford United Chairman Sumrith 'Tiger' Thanakarnjanasuth can fund Oxford progress

Interviewed from his rented flat in Stowford Road by ace reporter Warwick Hunte, Mr B. L. Zebub stated today that he had chosen to settle in Oxford because of his love of culture, barbecues and because his son, Thomas Guerriero, had "paved the way for his coming". Mr Zebub, who is working as a delivery driver for a Bangladeshi restaurant, described his love of children and pets, he was about to describe his plans to set up a grooming centre when he glanced at his watch and said "Crikey, I'm late for the Asr prayer. Toodle pip!"
 
‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ - found in OUFC trophy cabinet.

‘ (Left) Back in the USSR’ - how Ricardinho ended up at Rotor Volgograd

‘Taxman’ - pictorial proof that OUFC VAT, NIC and PAY E is all fully up to date brandished by smiling owner.
 
Memory Lane: Today we feature a montage of Scumdon, especially to remind OUFC fans what it looks like. To be repeated annually until further notice.
 
Two things that are supposed to happen today.
One we’re supposed to be signing at least one player. KR “I will be very disappointed if we don’t get at least one over the line on Friday”
Two it’s supposed to rain tonight.

So the headline for tomorrow is ‘brown grass turns green after heavy downpour ‘
 
KR likes to get the business done early. Well, ten weeks on.................. . It has certainly not gone to plan, but I remain ever hopeful for news this weekend.
 
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