Oxford Mail articles to fill the transfer void


Active member
23 Dec 2017
Frustrated as we are with the slow process of KR's recruitment drive, spare a thought for the Oxford Mail journalists needing to fill column inches (teehee) during this time; having conduct a dull telephone interview with a former player to get their opinion on how well they think a former teammate/coach/manager etc will do at Oxford ("he will work them hard"/"he's a great professional"/"he is a real practical joker" etc) - followed by the obligatory "I really enjoyed my time at Oxford" / "I still look out for their results" etc to wrap up the article. All this effort just to have something on put in the back pages and online (phew!).

So...(yes there is a point...sort of...to this)
Let's all help the poor journos and give them some article headlines to scrabble a story from - I'll get the ball rolling:

'Former Oxford haro David Rush tips Oxford Utd stars to come out tops in the event of pint and fisticuffs'

'Niall McWilliams tips Manny Agboola to push Simon Eastwood close in battle of the Vowels'

'NHS report links George Baldock's OUFC spell with record spike in estrogen levels throughout Oxfordshire'
"Crocked star likely to miss start of new season" - Phil Gilchrist still not recovered from injury in robbo testimonial
"Elias has screwed us over again - L:es Taylor" - years after trying to convince the club that left-midfielder Matt Taylor was a goalkeeper, it appears that Malcolm Elias has done it again, as Taylor reveals that Jack Stevens is actually a centre-half and Manny Agboola is a striker.
"Father & son expected to double up for U's in coming season" - club announces signing of striker Gifton Noel Williams
"Faz reveals he was in charge of U23 side last season" - but thought they were all sh#t so refused to play any games
"IS Dave Kitson the Secret Agent" - an in depth analysis of the twitter feed of Pep Clotet's agent shows great similarities with background of the former U's striker...
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