Ex-Player Thread Max Woltman

[Carpy]

Max Woltman Signed: 3rd August 2023 Departed: 16th May 2025 ​

 

[Emilio]

Pretty sure I can still make it. I'm 47, three stone overweight but five yards quicker in my brain

I was walking by a park the other day and a ball rolled towards me, so I pinged it back to the group of kids playing. It was possibly the most accurate pass of my life. For the remainder of my walk I played out the post-match interview in my head, in which I was asked about "that key assist"...

I turn 35 next month, so reckon I've got at least another year in me. Joey played until he was 36, after all.

 

[Eric Blair]

I was walking by a park the other day and a ball rolled towards me, so I pinged it back to the group of kids playing. It was possibly the most accurate pass of my life. For the remainder of my walk I played out the post-match interview in my head, in which I was asked about "that key assist"...

I turn 35 next month, so reckon I've got at least another year in me. Joey played until he was 36, after all.

That is a pure joy.

In my head I convince myself that I am Josh McEachran but a version with worse teeth, three stone overweight and can’t play football.

 

[Wallop]

I volleyed an errant ball back to a group of kids in the summer. Caught it sweetly and it went straight back to them. One of them shouted ‘You’ve still got it’ - compliment or insult? Discuss.

 

[Yellowmania]

When I was the manager of my Son’s U-15 team I organised a crossbar challenge. Needless to say after about 30 odd attempts not one had hit the bar.
Up I step and sweet as a nut ping it on to the crossbar first time to show them how it’s done.
My son was absolutely gutted, I still talk about and glory in it 24 years on.

 

[chuckbert]

I reckon those situations are amongst the highest pressure in life. On the one hand you sweetly, casually ding it perfectly to one of the lads. On the other hand you misjudge it, swing and miss and stumble over into a muddy puddle. Or maybe underhit it so the lad has to come almost as far anyway. Or mishit it so that it’s even more work for them to retrieve.

 

[Berliner]

I watched a premier league game in Estonia a couple of years back and I honestly believe I could dust off the boots and give a better account than some of them. Astonishingly bad.

 

[m]

I volleyed an errant ball back to a group of kids in the summer. Caught it sweetly and it went straight back to them. One of them shouted ‘You’ve still got it’ - compliment or insult? Discuss.

Both!

That's one of the reasons the world is so complicated nowadays.

 

[Mojofilter]

I was just born s**t at football

Without wanting to take the pedant hat from Ste, I think that is true of all of us tbs

 

[Emilio]

Without wanting to take the pedant hat from Ste, I think that is true of all of us tbs

I don't know, I saw a video a few years back of Raheem Sterling's toddler dribbling a ball around their house better than I ever could, at an age when all I could do was dribble from my gob.

 

[Coffin Dodger]

Without wanting to take the pedant hat from Ste, I think that is true of all of us tbs

There are many levels of s**tness, I am in the bottom 10 percentile.

 

[Isle of Wight Yellow]

I reckon those situations are amongst the highest pressure in life. On the one hand you sweetly, casually ding it perfectly to one of the lads. On the other hand you misjudge it, swing and miss and stumble over into a muddy puddle. Or maybe underhit it so the lad has to come almost as far anyway. Or mishit it so that it’s even more work for them to retrieve.

I truly think that this situation is the everyday man’s equivalent of taking a penalty in a World Cup final.

 

[werthersoriginal]

I truly think that this situation is the everyday man’s equivalent of taking a penalty in a World Cup final.

New and worrying possibility: it’s a bunch of girls playing football

 

[Marked Ox]

New and worrying possibility: it’s a bunch of girls playing football

In an organised game with the parents/family watching.

 

[werthersoriginal]

In an organised game with the parents/family watching.

Is there a therapist in the house?

 

[Colin B]

It seems as if a number of posts, one of mine amongst them, have been deleted from this thread?

Anyone know why, and who by?

 

[Osleroad]

But does Max Woltman have views on all this

 

[Carpy]

It seems as if a number of posts, one of mine amongst them, have been deleted from this thread?

Anyone know why, and who by?

By me, I wanted to get back on topic, not air our dirty laundry and argue on a thread about Max Woltman

 

[Big Ron]

I don't know, I saw a video a few years back of Raheem Sterling's toddler dribbling a ball around their house better than I ever could, at an age when all I could do was dribble from my gob.

Oddly enough, I was walking my dog last Sunday morning and decided to walk to the fields where a friends son was playing - Thiago Sterling (for it is he!) was playing for the opposition in an under 8's game. I think he'd scored 5 before they took him off at the end of the 1st quarter and reduced as least two of the opposition to tears.

 

[Colin B]

By me, I wanted to get back on topic, not air our dirty laundry and argue on a thread about Max Woltman

Fair enough. I hope the person causing the argument, Chrome Yellow, has been made aware of this, and the reasons why?

 

[Mad Dog]

I volleyed an errant ball back to a group of kids in the summer. Caught it sweetly and it went straight back to them. One of them shouted ‘You’ve still got it’ - compliment or insult? Discuss.

I'd defo take that as a compliment!

It's actually nice to hear an anecdote involving kids, that doesn't end with someone being beaten up, robbed or stabbed for once!

 

[Carpy]

Fair enough. I hope the person causing the argument, Chrome Yellow, has been made aware of this, and the reasons why?

A private conversation has taken place

 

[Emilio]

Oddly enough, I was walking my dog last Sunday morning and decided to walk to the fields where a friends son was playing - Thiago Sterling (for it is he!) was playing for the opposition in an under 8's game. I think he'd scored 5 before they took him off at the end of the 1st quarter and reduced as least two of the opposition to tears.

Funny coincidence that. But yes, what odds on him getting an England cap, and where can I put my fiver?

 

[Peterdev]

I’m still trying to work out what has happened to Max. Can anyone give a straight answer?

 

[Left Wing Cross]

I’m still trying to work out what has happened to Max. Can anyone give a straight answer?

No real details out there.

Confirmed unavailable in the Luton preview: https://www.oufc.co.uk/news/preview-luton-town-vs-oxford-united

This was spotted a couple of months ago:

This was on Instagram today

 

[Big Ron]

Funny coincidence that. But yes, what odds on him getting an England cap, and where can I put my fiver?

I think Sterling lives somewhere around Cobham and the Chelsea training ground. It's footballer central in that area and Thiago (!) was playing for a local boys club.

A few years back my son played against one of Jamie Redknapp's lads at the same club - he was s**t but turned out to be a decent rugby player.

 

[werthersoriginal]

I think Sterling lives somewhere around Cobham and the Chelsea training ground. It's footballer central in that area and Thiago (!) was playing for a local boys club.

A few years back my son played against one of Jamie Redknapp's lads at the same club - he was s**t but turned out to be a decent rugby player.

Thiago Sterling is an excellent name, he’s all set for stardom

 

[Orkney Islands Yellow]

Played for Buxton against Oxford City last night (Buxton won 3-2).

 

[Marked Ox]

After his injury issues, good to see he is playing.

 

[Belgium Yellow]

Played for Buxton against Oxford City last night (Buxton won 3-2).

Must be something in the water.