gofish2
Active member
- Joined
- 10 Dec 2017
- Messages
- 695
Since learning of Joey's death, I have watched the forum very carefully. From the initial considerable shock, the subsequent tributes, and the pain and devastation expressed at seeing the awful desperation this man experienced. At no time did I feel able to comment..
I had to wait, before I felt able to fully acknowledge the awfulness of his suffering and those who suffered before and since his suicide.
I think that my waiting was because I couldn't find the words, I felt overwhelmed, and this is all too close to home.
Some of you will know that I work in paediatric mental health. We work at the sharp end, we see horrific self-harm, overdoses, alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse, severe emotional neglect and deprivation, in a service context, which. to be honest is not fit for purpose as far as adequate service provision is concerned.
I know that as I write this, you will know of people who have been failed by the services. Some of you, may have very direct experience of this.
I am afflicted with an ability to see and predict psychiatric and emotional trajectories. This means, I can see where a case is likely to go without the most thoughtful intervention. I also know, that such interventions are unlikely.
The outcome is never good, and it may very well have been the case that Joey was a victim of this. It may also be the case that he never reached a point where confronting his mental health was manageable. I don't know,
I have been in the work of paediatric mental health for over 40 years. I don't know about the children's lives I may have helped to continue, but of those who I didn't. I do.
On Friday I learned that a former patient aged 16, hung himself in the middle of the night.
He was found by his mother who cut him down.
The pain his family are experiencing is unfathomable and I'm truly sorry if anybody who reads this has experienced something similar.
And, we as "professionals" are often thought to be okay because we are, "trained for this kind of situation". Believe me, we are not. There is no training to my knowledge that can prepare you for such unspeakable tragedy.
I don't say lightly that I am devastated. And, if you reply to this, please don't say it wasn't or couldn't have been my fault. I know it wasn't and my clinical judgement stands up to scrutiny. But I built a relationship with this boy over a very long period. I tried to care for him as if he were my own. It didn't work and now he's dead. My pain is a fraction of that his parents will always live with.
We work is at the sharp end. Where the deep emotional and physical wounds are constantly on display. where the awfulness that these children and young people have suffered find horrific expression. The devastation they leave in their wake is incalculable. And it's not their fault.
We continue, we try to hold families in their horrific loss. We try and help them pick up the pieces, and then we quietly pick up our own.
Always listen to the pain of others, and always be there as best you can. It may not work, and if it doesn't it will hurt you badly, but it matters that you cared and tried.
I had to wait, before I felt able to fully acknowledge the awfulness of his suffering and those who suffered before and since his suicide.
I think that my waiting was because I couldn't find the words, I felt overwhelmed, and this is all too close to home.
Some of you will know that I work in paediatric mental health. We work at the sharp end, we see horrific self-harm, overdoses, alcohol and drug abuse, sexual abuse, severe emotional neglect and deprivation, in a service context, which. to be honest is not fit for purpose as far as adequate service provision is concerned.
I know that as I write this, you will know of people who have been failed by the services. Some of you, may have very direct experience of this.
I am afflicted with an ability to see and predict psychiatric and emotional trajectories. This means, I can see where a case is likely to go without the most thoughtful intervention. I also know, that such interventions are unlikely.
The outcome is never good, and it may very well have been the case that Joey was a victim of this. It may also be the case that he never reached a point where confronting his mental health was manageable. I don't know,
I have been in the work of paediatric mental health for over 40 years. I don't know about the children's lives I may have helped to continue, but of those who I didn't. I do.
On Friday I learned that a former patient aged 16, hung himself in the middle of the night.
He was found by his mother who cut him down.
The pain his family are experiencing is unfathomable and I'm truly sorry if anybody who reads this has experienced something similar.
And, we as "professionals" are often thought to be okay because we are, "trained for this kind of situation". Believe me, we are not. There is no training to my knowledge that can prepare you for such unspeakable tragedy.
I don't say lightly that I am devastated. And, if you reply to this, please don't say it wasn't or couldn't have been my fault. I know it wasn't and my clinical judgement stands up to scrutiny. But I built a relationship with this boy over a very long period. I tried to care for him as if he were my own. It didn't work and now he's dead. My pain is a fraction of that his parents will always live with.
We work is at the sharp end. Where the deep emotional and physical wounds are constantly on display. where the awfulness that these children and young people have suffered find horrific expression. The devastation they leave in their wake is incalculable. And it's not their fault.
We continue, we try to hold families in their horrific loss. We try and help them pick up the pieces, and then we quietly pick up our own.
Always listen to the pain of others, and always be there as best you can. It may not work, and if it doesn't it will hurt you badly, but it matters that you cared and tried.
