General Jokes 🃏

I asked a lady in a chemist today what gets rid of chronoviris.

Ammonia cleaner she said.

Oh sorry I thought you worked here
 
A vicar, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar.


The rabbit says "Damn you autocorrect".......
 
I was driving home last night & my boss phoned me and said “ we’ve promoted you to a manager” a bit shocked lost concentration, swerved the car a bit & carried on ... 2 minutes later he phoned again and said “ we’ve had a re think and promoted you up to a director!” I lost control of the car and hit a tree ! Police arrived and asked what happened ? .... I replied ... “ Think I just careered off the road ! “
 
I had a never curry the other night

it’s like a normal curry but Otter
 
The Police arrested a man for stealing batteries, but they’re not sure what to charge him with.
 
Thieves have broken into the local police station and stole all their toilets. The police say they have nothing to go on.......
 
Started a business selling trampolines......buisness is up and down at the moment.
 
I’m really worried about giving my first blood check.... I need to B positive
 
I remember when the Charles Dickens novel 'A Tale of Two Cities' was serialised in two local newspapers. It was the 'Bicester Times' and the 'Worcester Times'..
 
Exclusive footage of civil service advice on the UK's 4 stage response to COVID-19 outbreak......

 
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