General Jokes 🃏

I'm not a huge fan of innuendos

but I do like to slip one in every now and then
 
Is it just me,

or are there any other anagrams of em?
 
the missus left me a note on the TV saying "its not working ive left you"

Well I've just switched it on and its working perfectly.
 
Just bought a coat at auction that was produced by Napoleon Bonaparte, but it's not certain if he was the designer.


But he would have had a hand in it.........
 
Paddy is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.

The blonde realises he is staring and inquires,"Are you looking at my vagina?"

“Yes, I'm sorry," Paddy replies and promises to avert his eyes.

“It's quite all right," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the vagina blows him a kiss.
Paddy, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder vagina can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman Paddy stares In amazement as the vagina winks at him.
“Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Paddy moves over and she smiles and asks, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Paddy replies, "You're kidding—you mean it can whistle, too?”
 
Unfortunately my application to join the local cricket club was rejected....it knocked me for six.
 
I offered to help a magician with his magic trick which invoked a circular saw....my other half thinks we should sue.
 
I have this recurring dream that I'm riding a horse.



That's five nights on the trot now......
 
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