General Jokes 🃏

I finally stopped caring what other people think.

I hope everyone's OK with that.
 
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There’s a bloke on social media called Buster, he keeps sending me loads & loads of videos of 70’s group, the Sweet.
Does anyone know the way?
There’s got to be a way,
To block Buster.
 
Sad to hear that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and his family have tested positive for Covid 19. Apparently it was first noticed when no family member could 'smell what the Rock is cooking'
 
During lockdown, I developed an addiction to soap, but I've been clean since August.....
 
I'm confident that my application to join our local Scrabble Club will be accepted.



My neighbour is on the committee and has put a good word in for me........
 
My neighbour just walked by with two dogs.

I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs?"

He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sisters."

I said, "Wow, your sisters are f*cking ugly"
 
My neighbour just walked by with two dogs.

I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs?"

He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sisters."

I said, "Wow, your sisters are f*cking ugly"

Were they in Swindon
 
After being laid off due to the lockdown, I applied and was hired for a vacancy at the bowlplex bowling alley

told my other half the good news, tenpin she asked

I replied, No it's permanent
 
Just watched a film about a man who broke his arm and then broke his leg.


The casting was brilliant........
 
the other half asked me to pass her the lip balm,

I gave her superglue.

She is still not speaking to me.
 
Answering a ring at the front door, I was taken aback to find a washbasin on the step.

I said to the wife "I'll have to let this sink in"
 
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