General Jokes 🃏

The one thing I can’t understand is airport staff try to help passengers with a fear of flying wirh good encouragement......and when the passenger says “I feel better so where do I go?” The airport staff members first word is “TERMINAL”
 
Just got back from a course about reincarnation, £600 for 3 days.
A bit pricey I know,
but I figured,
why not,
you only live once
 
the missus said she's leaving me for 14 reasons and my obsession with tennis.

I said, that's 15 love
 
My other half sent me a text saying "your great" I replied "no, you're great".
She had a lovely smile on her face all day.

Should I tell her I was correcting her grammar or should I leave it?
 
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Fancy playing hide and seek all day and getting paid for it?

Become a member of staff at B&Q!
 
Went for a tattoo ,
I asked for a butterfly on the cheeks of my bottom, one wing on one cheek the other wing on the other.
" Can't do that too complicated...but I can do a bee"
Ok ..I said.
Got home I showed the wife
Dropped my shorts and bent over.
She asked " who's BOB"?
 
"What Dishwasher powder do you use?"

"Finish!"

"Oh sorry,

Mitä Astianpesukone jauhe käytätte?"
 
an acquaintance was putting together a cricket team of old soul stars

not sure who might fill the batting order , or who will bowl, but he tells me Curtis Mayfield
 
I have decided to take up meditation.

I suppose It’s better than sitting around doing nothing
 
Cleaning out my loft and I found an old Commodore that's been there for years.

That'll teach him to go dancing on the ceiling!
 
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