General Jokes πŸƒ

Why do they only use Mac computers on the International Space Station?


Because you can't open Windows in space.
 
We ran out of toilet roll and had to start using newspaper.

The Times were rough.
 
What’s the name of the space between the entrance and back door of a Nando’s?

The peri-perineum.
 
Chris Rea's plans for the festive season have been thrown into disarray after his car failed it's MoT test this morning.....
 
Woke up to find out that my wife is only cooking Alphabetti Spaghetti for Xmas lunch!



We'll be having words later.


Merry Xmas Yellows........
 
Did you hear about the greengrocer who discovered an extra root vegetable during inventory?


It was a real turnip for the books!
 
How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb,....?

.......1...2....1.....2...2....1....2.......
 
I finally got a girlfriend long enough that I felt confident enough to visit my parents.
We used her car and got a flat tyre on the way.
Incase they were worried I called them up and said, '' Hi Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."
"Oh" she sighed. "I thought you were bringing a real one".
 
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