General Fantasy New Stadium

[SteMerritt]

• Slope on the pitch, going downwards towards the home end.
• Proper floodlight pylons.
• Non-generic layout, none of this '4 stands' (or 3) or 'bowl' rubbish.
• Electronic scoreboard replaced by row of metal letters (A to X), fixtures printed in the programme and allocated a letter, at halftime a bloke with a long pole raises tin numbers next to the letters to give the half-time scores.
• Phone signal blocker installed so people can't browse Premier League scores during the game.
• Home end with a proper fence down the middle to give a real 'Left/Right' split.
• Centre Circle to be officially named 'The Mickey Lewis Hunt Zone'.
• Smarts Fish and Chip shop to be in control of all food outlets.
• Large screen at 'away end' made out of old TVs meaning that as soon as the sun comes out you can't see anything rendering it useless for all games played in daylight.
• ATL? forced to reform and play live before every game.
• Dedicated supporters' club behind home goal terrace.
• Martin Brodetsky forced to dig out his old leather jacket and personally sell programmes, but from the road on the approach to the stadium not on club property.
• @Essexyellows and @QR to host official club phone-in before the game to discuss all football and current affairs topics.
• @Manorlounger provided with a team of underlings (complete with clipboards) to do his bidding. Also given free-reign to set club biscuit policy.
• @RyanioBirdio provided with a top-of-the-range SLR camera, and an 'access-all-areas' pass.
• @Sarge to provide matchday music and entertainment.
• @bazzer9461 head of spellckekin in teh prowgram.

 

[holdsteady]

It’s the toilets that really matter, some on here live in them so I would like them to be marble floored, exquisitely furnished with gold taps etc, chandeliers for lighting and personal assistants to hold my willy and wipe my a**e and a string quartet playing relaxing music discreetly in one corner.

Don’t really care about the ground apart from that, just stick 3 tin sheds around the pitch.

 

[Jason N]

@stokeu vision is immense, I vote for this:

here's proof it's happening, latest architects drawing accidentally faxed to the FA and me by Mick Brown


View attachment 6530

 

[Wandering Yellow]

Just this.............. dropped on/near a roundabout like Peartree with easy access from the North.
Failing that just knock down the Westgate & Oxpens and wedge it in there.
50k capacity, soft comfortable seats in the side stands, even has heaters built into the roof for chilly evenings.

View attachment 7012

The best ground I have ever been to anywhere in the world.

And the seats are the right colour too!

What stadium is this?

 

[m]

• Phone signal blocker installed so people can't browse Premier League scores during the game.

What about those of us who use our phones only for porn?

 

[SteMerritt]

What about those of us who use our phones only for porn?

• Limited Wi-Fi access in the toilets only. It cuts off after 5mins. Only 1 'session' per person per game.

 

[m]

• Limited Wi-Fi access in the toilets only. It cuts off after 5mins. Only 1 'session' per person per game.

Hmm. The toilets have improved but I'm not sure by that much.

 

[Sarge]

Ideally somewhere in Headington or OX3 postcode area-

proper pub(s) in closeish proximity

clean toilets

club shop incorporated as part of the stadium

decent wi -fi access

permanent 'fan zone' outside the ground
proper supporters club under one of the stands

25-30K capacity two-tier low roofed 'home' end with safe standing on the lower tier behind one goal

family stand single tier, with a low roof, behind the other goal

away fan allocation on one of the sides in a single-tier stand with home fan areas on either side of them
media facilities facing the dugouts & Two-tier all seater stand with executive boxes incorporated on the other side

Decent public transport access, - sizable easy access/ egress car park ( maybe under the stadium footprint)

undersoil heating

All four stands close to the pitch

 

[SteMerritt]

Hmm. The toilets have improved but I'm not sure by that much.

Well you'll have to holster and go watch the second half then, those sideways passes won't watch themselves.

 

[werthersoriginal]

OX3 is traditional but OX4 is the heart of Oxford, so either would be good. OX1 by the ice rink also pleasing. Otherwise, four sides and no stupid running track around the pitch! Some standing areas at each end, and no allocated seats there.

 

[Northernyellow]

A ground with four sides that doesn't smell like a toilet. Is that too much to ask?

 

[Essexyellows]

What stadium is this?

Fenerbache..... Şükrü Saracoğlu Stadium.

I would take Besiktas`s new one at a pinch but replace views over the Bosphorus with the Thames?

 

[oufc1991]

Fenerbache..... Şükrü Saracoğlu Stadium.

I would take Besiktas`s new one at a pinch but replace views over the Bosphorus with the Thames?
View attachment 7016

Knowing our luck we’d get views of the sewage works or a traveler site instead of the smell

 

[werthersoriginal]

Bury Knowle park never seems to get a lot of use. Ideal site!

 

[Wandering Yellow]

Without wishing to start WW3, I haven't kept up to date at all with the takeover.

Is there a simple answer to the question: "Is it likely to happen, and if it does happen is a new stadium likely to happen?"

 

[Wandering Yellow]

• Slope on the pitch, going downwards towards the home end.
• Proper floodlight pylons.
• Non-generic layout, none of this '4 stands' (or 3) or 'bowl' rubbish.
• Electronic scoreboard replaced by row of metal letters (A to X), fixtures printed in the programme and allocated a letter, at halftime a bloke with a long pole raises tin numbers next to the letters to give the half-time scores.
• Phone signal blocker installed so people can't browse Premier League scores during the game.
• Home end with a proper fence down the middle to give a real 'Left/Right' split.
• Centre Circle to be officially named 'The Mickey Lewis Hunt Zone'.
• Smarts Fish and Chip shop to be in control of all food outlets.
• Large screen at 'away end' made out of old TVs meaning that as soon as the sun comes out you can't see anything rendering it useless for all games played in daylight.
• ATL? forced to reform and play live before every game.
• Dedicated supporters' club behind home goal terrace.
• Martin Brodetsky forced to dig out his old leather jacket and personally sell programmes, but from the road on the approach to the stadium not on club property.
• @Essexyellows and @QR to host official club phone-in before the game to discuss all football and current affairs topics.
• @Manorlounger provided with a team of underlings (complete with clipboards) to do his bidding. Also given free-reign to set club biscuit policy.
• @RyanioBirdio provided with a top-of-the-range SLR camera, and an 'access-all-areas' pass.
• @Sarge to provide matchday music and entertainment.
• @bazzer9461 head of spellckekin in teh prowgram.

This really would be good.

 

[Pompeyyellows]

Knowing our luck we’d get views of the sewage works or a traveler site instead of the smell

In my youth i played my football at Appleton right next door to a sewage works. Grass was always lush green lol

 

[Essexyellows]

Without wishing to start WW3, I haven't kept up to date at all with the takeover.

Is there a simple answer to the question: "Is it likely to happen, and if it does happen is a new stadium likely to happen?"

Only 48 pages to read about the takeover: https://yellowsforum.co.uk/threads/consortium-takeover-news-and-rumours.5875/
And only 147 pages to read about the new stadium: https://yellowsforum.co.uk/threads/potential-new-ground.2782/

We expect you to have read, researched and critically reviewed all posts and reached your own realistic conclusion shortly.

 

[YellowDJ]

How about a ‘Yellow Wall’, like Dortmund

 

[WuTang]

Without wishing to start WW3, I haven't kept up to date at all with the takeover.

Is there a simple answer to the question: "Is it likely to happen, and if it does happen is a new stadium likely to happen?"

Yes and yes