• New Covid-19 section: HERE.

Search results

  1. Surreal Madrid

    International News Covid-19 .....

    My wife, who is an ITU Sister at the JR got verbally abused by 3 Eastern Europeans in our local park earlier this evening when she was taking our dog for a small walk (after a 9 hour shift). They displayed no apparent intent to practise Social Distancing lounging all over the play equipment. She...
  2. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I met Andrew Lloyd Webber once when I worked in Burger King. He came up to the counter and asked for two Whoppers. I said 'You're good looking and your shows are great!'
  3. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

  4. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid 19 Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer 14
  5. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Prince Charles has got coronavirus, which confirms that it's heirborn..
  6. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Landlord: That Spanish actor out of 'Skyfall' was kicking off in my pub the other night. Customer: Javier Bardem? Landlord: No, but he is on a final warning.
  7. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I can't decide where to take the family this Easter holidays. It's either the living room or the dining room..
  8. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    My mate is a self employed Electrician and even he is working from ohm..
  9. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Diane Abbott has called for the BBC to stop filming 'Casualty' and 'Holby City' so the staff can help out with the Coronavirus outbreak.
  10. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    My mate and I had a proper result on Ebay last night. I got hold of a signed photo of Ronnie Corbett, while my mate won a bid on a signed photo of Ronnie Barker. It was a good buy from me and a good buy from him.
  11. Surreal Madrid

    Conference FC Halifax Town v Ebbsfleet Utd

    Love The Shay. Proper old school ground. Would love it if our ground was designed like that.
  12. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I remember when the Charles Dickens novel 'A Tale of Two Cities' was serialised in two local newspapers. It was the 'Bicester Times' and the 'Worcester Times'..
  13. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Gave my wife a cryptic clue for what she is getting for Valentines Day. 'Think ex-England goalkeepers' I said. She expected Flowers, instead she got Seaman..
  14. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    To the person that stole my glasses, I say this. I will find you. I have contacts..
  15. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Liverpool FC once tried to get Yul Brynner to advertise their own branded aftershave. Sadly he refused. Yul never wore cologne.
  16. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Topical gag for once. Can anyone help. I'm looking for the postcode for central Newcastle. Anyone?
  17. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I'm currently writing a song about getting my front door lock changed. There's a lovely key change at the end.
  18. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I went to Errol Browns restaurant once. I had the tasting menu. It started with a quiche.
  19. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket." "I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yoghurt." "It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yoghurt."
Top Bottom