Recent content by Surreal Madrid

  1. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Gave my wife a cryptic clue for what she is getting for Valentines Day. 'Think ex-England goalkeepers' I said. She expected Flowers, instead she got Seaman..
  2. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    To the person that stole my glasses, I say this. I will find you. I have contacts..
  3. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Liverpool FC once tried to get Yul Brynner to advertise their own branded aftershave. Sadly he refused. Yul never wore cologne.
  4. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Topical gag for once. Can anyone help. I'm looking for the postcode for central Newcastle. Anyone?
  5. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I'm currently writing a song about getting my front door lock changed. There's a lovely key change at the end.
  6. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I went to Errol Browns restaurant once. I had the tasting menu. It started with a quiche.
  7. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket." "I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yoghurt." "It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yoghurt."
  8. Surreal Madrid

    Pompey away Saturday

    Afternoon,Officer..
  9. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Have I told you about the time I tied my shoelaces with just the power of my mind? Thought knot.
  10. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    First rule of Rick Astley Fight Club. You know the rules, and so do I..
  11. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Daughter wants tickets for 'Hamilton' for her 16th birthday in November. Got right on it. Managed to book three for Saturday 2nd November. Home to Ross County.
  12. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    I found an old Viagra tablet at the back of the bathroom cabinet. When I tried it, it didn't work. Must have been past its swell by date..
  13. Surreal Madrid

    JOKES

    Giving up on my Alphabetti spaghetti diet. I'm woken up every morning with terrible vowel movement.
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